K. asked me to write an article about Imposter Syndrome and ways to deal with it, and for some reason, my brain latched on to the idea.
Imposter Syndrome is a persistent feeling that you don’t deserve what you’ve earned, that you’re not good enough, that your success is a mistake and at any moment, everyone is going to find out. At least, that’s how I’ve understood it in my own life. It’s a feeling that pretty much sucks. Walking around, doing your job, while feeling unworthy of it, or as if someone is going to uncover the truth of your unworthiness, is just plain awful.
I’d love to give you steps to make it go away, but I don’t really know what those steps are. Maybe it has to do with moving into your own power, getting rooted in who you are. Maybe it comes with age and that lovely benefit of getting older when you just stop caring what other people think of you.
So, I can’t tell you how to make it go away. I’m not sure you can just by willing it so. I think confidence comes in repetition and time. Keep doing the thing you’re doing, earning what you’re earning, and eventually, you’ll look around and realize you are exactly where you’ve pushed yourself to be.
For me, I’ve been thinking on how Imposter Syndrome can be useful. This little reframing makes it feel less of a burden to carry.
How on earth can Imposter Syndrome be useful?
Here are some things I can think of.
Imposter Syndrome can:
· Hold you accountable. It can keep you honest with your work and keep you on track. It can help you make sure you’re following the rules and steps with whatever job you’re doing.
· Make you work not harder but work better. You take more pride in doing things well. You’re aware of doing a good job and you want to. You don’t float through gigs. You’re consciously connected to them.
· Foster a sense of gratitude. So many people seem to act from a sense of entitlement. Imposter Syndrome can help you stay grounded, can make you grateful and appreciative for the work you’re doing.
· Help you connect with others. When you’re a little unsure of yourself and what you’re doing, it can encourage you to reach out to your colleagues and friends for a little more support, which also adds to the richness in your life.
· Increase your empathy and awareness for those around you and encourage you to be communicative with your team.
In my mind, Imposter Syndrome, then, can make you better at what you do, more connected, more grateful, more empathetic. These are all great qualities to foster.
I wish I could make self-doubt go away for all of us. It’s a bummer to carry that around. But I think that self-doubt may also push us to work a little harder. It’s like adrenaline that surges your system before acting in front of a live audience. That adrenaline that’s pumping through you heightens the experience, focuses you, and gives a little more energy to your performance.
If you struggle with Imposter Syndrome, recognize it for what it is: thoughts of self-doubt. They’re just thoughts. They’re not facts. And those thoughts can be used to help you focus and help you do a better job.
What’s important here is even though you might feel like an Imposter, you do your job anyway. You keep going. Keep trying. Those around you are already convinced you’re worthy of what you’re doing. With a little more time, you will convince yourself you’re worthy too.
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TANYA EBY is writing this with her dogs at her feet. The rain is falling, and she has a cup of hot coffee. This sounds idyllic, but it is not. One of her dogs was skunked last week, so writing with them at her feet is not as pleasant an experience as you’d think because wafts of caustic stench are floating up to Tanya, making her gag. It’s hard to write while gagging. Still, it is what it is.
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This is as thoughtful a piece as ever, Tanya. I like the way you lead into it with the not knowing angle. Reframing is such a vital step in our thinking and emotions when we are grappling with a part of us that feels bound up, not flowing. Is there a moment (like I experience with anxiety) when, if one slows down, the trigger can be isolated? When I understand the trigger(s) I can use that moment to reframe the trigger into a springboard or catalyst to improve how I work, interact and so on—it’s a struggle at first but it sure does get easier and has become one of my favorite tools—and as I reclaim my focus, energies, etc., I get such a charge, such a feeling of accomplishment from the new ability to harness the trigger’s energy 💕💪🏻🔥
As a CONSTANT struggler, this was lovely to read. And looking back, I see everything you just listed in my own work ethic. It’s really lovely to have this imposing (heh), negative, all-consuming thing repainted in a way that I can actually use it in the future. I needed this today. Thanks.